Saturday, January 06, 2007


My apologies that it has been over a week since the last posting.
Moriah still looks good and is in pretty much the same condition. I did seem to get her eyes to follow me a little bit while visiting her today. The battle continues.

I'm going to post my words from the prayer service last week. I will post the rest of the service and the cross planting next week some time. I re-read this tonight, must have been some inspiration given to me. Here it is, you will have to picture me speaking and struggling and stopping many times to regain my composure. It was much harder than I thought it would be, but also I needed to say these things.

Memorial/Prayer service for Moriah and Mary Reiman 12-27-06

I sure hope I can get through this so please bare with me. It is impossible for me to believe that it has been a year since our lives were changed forever. In the past year I lost my wife and best friend from my adult years and my best friend from my childhood. I'm sure if Gunner and Mary have met that he is probably getting quite a lecture. Also as you know we continue to pray for Moriah's recovery.

In Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 v 4 it says,

a time to weep and a time to laugh
a time to mourn and a time to dance

This tells us that it is ok to celebrate and to laugh and to cry as we remember Mary and pray for the healing of Moriah.

Bet you never thought you'd see me on this side of the pulpit!

If adversity introduces a man to himself I have certainly become to know myself much better through the past year.

Thank you for coming to remember Mary and again to pray for Moriah's healing. And for all that you have done throughout the year. I do not know what's going to happen with her but I do know that it is in God's and Moriah's hands and all we can do is pray.

The events of the last year have lead me to cover every emotion possible. But most
importantly it has taught me how blessed I am with family and friends. I am honored and blessed to count all of you in that group.

It has taught me not to be so selfish as to think that I have suffered the most or the greatest. We all carry burdens and have our own trials and tribulations. so I am sure that I am not alone in needing help or prayers. One of the hardest things for me to face after the accident was to tell family and friends as to what had happend. Seeing your suffering showed me how much it impacted you also. I know how much Mary and Moriah mean to you. And how special their friendships are. I now know the depths of those friendships.

Mary and I had what I believe was a unique/special relationship. It wasn't perfect of course as we had our moments, but they were few. She lived by the rule to never go to bed or end the day without resolving something that was bothering you. It 's a good rule. She was the most forthright, honest person I have ever known. She believed that one should be content and happy with what they had and what they had been given. We'd do our own thing but loved doing things together. Several months ago I received a note from her Mom thanking me for not restricting her life, but for enhancing it, for letting her do her own thing and for letting her be herself. A finer compliment I could not think of.

If the depth of one's pain is measured by the depth of one's love, then you know why I have suffered so much.

She had one of the greatest smiles ever. She had a great sense of humour and many of you know a lot of those stories. I've heard a few more since she left us and I'm sure there's even more out there. Several years ago after popping my achilles tendon while playing softball, I realized my jumping, running etc. days of that type of sports were probably over so I decided to take up golf. I hadn't ever played much but was always interested in it. I played a few times and on a trip to Des Moines I played golf with my friend Laird and ended up buying some golf clubs. On the way home she asked me where her clubs were? She told me that she would not become a golf widow!! So she got clubs for Christmas that year and we started playing quite a bit of golf together. There is no one I would rather play a round of golf with.

Her friends in the Galway neighborhood are honoring her with a plaque that will be placed in the ground not far from here. I couldn't think of something more fitting to remember her by. Many thanks to those of you who had a hand in this. Her compassion, her love of children, her sense of what a neighborhood should be, are all wrapped up in that memorial. She really felt that the most important job in this world was in being a mother. I couldn't disagree with her.

She was a mom, a daughter, a friend, my wife and my best friend ever. I am so proud of her. But most importantly she was a Christian. She taught me so much and continues to teach me something everyday. Whether she was tending her garden, decorating, sewing, golfing, reading, dancing, sitting in the sun, or socializing with her friends and family, volunteering, or many of the other activites that she was involved in, she really felt that it was our responsibility to try and make the world a better place. "Do what you can where you can" was one of her motto's. We had many dreams together, some of which I still hope to accomplish.

She was true evangelist for her faith. She wasn't afraid to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, any place about her faith and her beliefs. I know of so many times that she did this. She wasn't pushy or pretentious and always had a respect for others. Whether it was a piano player and his wife in Jamaica, a street vendor in Mazatlan, a waitress in Vegas, a person from another religion that knocked on the door, boy did they get a surprise when they knocked on her door! Amongst family and friends, you knew where she stood. And speaking of where she stood, when someone would ask her how tall she was, she would usually respond by the now famous answer 5' 12"!! She didn't believe in (pardon the pun Pastor Dave) preaching, she belived in leading by example and being a witness to the grace of God and the compassion of Christ.

Then there is our Moriah,

She has a lot of Mary in her. Stubborn and tough. Loved music and fashion and decorating. Loved to get dressed up and go dancing. Mostly she loved her friends and her family and loved life.

As most 24 year olds do, she was trying to find her way. Once when she got into a little bit of trouble, her Mom and Dad wanted to help her out. Nope! I got into this and I'm going to get out of it on my own. There in lies the term Independence! She would accept help but surely wouldn't expect it. She also loved to have a good time and had a wonderful sense of humour. This won't mean a lot to all of you but she will long be remembered as Nick Faldo's girlfriend and for coining the now infamous phrase uttered in the Amana's "There is always room for more bread"

I have had many people tell me how much she thought of her family. For allowing her to be herself and how much she thought of her Mom and Dad. Again I don't think I could think of a finer compliment. Well Mojo we're very proud of you also and we know what a fight you have put up so far.

The two of them touched many people who I did not know before, but who I have become to know now. This truly speaks to the friendships that they have formed.

I cry often, not only tears of grief, but tears of joy, for being so blessed with 3 great girls in my life and for the blessings that all of you have give us. And for the many fond memories and moments of joy that fill my brain.

Obviously, We could not have gotten through this without a lot of help. I only hope that maybe somehow I can return what has been given to me. Collectivley I would like to thank everyone who has helped us out during the past year. To all of our friends who have laughed and cried, and grieved and celebrated with us. To those of you who have prayed for us, please continue to do so. This struggle isn't quite over yet. And I continue to pray for all of you also.

Individually I would like to thank,

Bob "Silos" Stewart, for making the cross. You have been a great friend. There is also something special about one of your friends becoming your wife's friend.

To all the writers and musicians who's words and music have helped me and inspired me. It is a gift from God that you have. I only wish I would have received more of you talent.

Any of you who have visited Moriah or brought us something to eat or done something to help us out.

To Pastor Dave and Christ the King!! Lutheran Church. Your strength and faith astounds me. You have all been a great blessing.

To my little buddy Jawon. Thank you for helping me keep things in perespective, and for being a symbol of the beauty and innocence of a child. Thank you also to your family for allowing me to remain in your life.

To all who have cared for Moriah. From the ambulance drivers to the outstanding staff in ICU at the University of Iowa Hospitals. To all the staff at On With Life in Ankeny. And to the providers at Windmill Manor in Coralville. You are surely doing the Lord's work.

To Brent and Chris Nichols. For the cookouts and for offering me the diversion of watching sports on your big screen in your basement in HDTV. Man is that cool!!

To Darlene and Brian. Dar I know you miss Mary alot. You were the short in the tall and short of it! For opening your home to members of my family. And for all that you have done to help me since the accident. Brian thank you for sharing your love of music and for getting me out of the house several times to listen to some great live music. For exposing me to some music that otherwise I wouldn't have enjoyed.

To Mark and Angela, Also for opening your house to be Grand Central during the first few weeks after the accident. For inviting me to join you for dinner or a nite out. For just calling to see if I'm ok or how I'm doing. I've got to admit I probably didn't tell you the truth in regards to that a couple of times. You have been great friends. I am honored to be counted among your friends.

To Laird and Sandy,
Words can not express how much I value our friendship. You have done all you could to help me. Laird you came to my rescue immediately. I never thought us two tough guys could cry so much. I will be forever grateful not only for you love, but for your words, your honesty, your advice, and your spirit. You also shared some of our dreams and I hope we can accomplish some of those even after all of this.

To my families, To my Mom and Dad and my family and to Mary's Mom and Dad and their family. For being there since the beginning and throughout our lives and for teaching us the values that I needed to cope with this tragedy. For teaching me that bitterness and jealously are two terrible traits. If I had not learned this lesson early, I would have never had 26 great years with Mary or two beautiful children.

To Danielle, You have been a rock and I am so proud of what you have accomplished and how you have handled this past year.

But most importantly to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. God's grace and spirit is surely alive, even during these troubled times.

I will leave you with a story,
Several months ago and after starting the blog, I was contacted by someone who I know casually. He wanted to buy me breakfast and meet some of his friends. I didn't know him well and I didn't know any of his friends. So anyway I meet the four of them for breakfast and we tell each other a bit about our lives. They tell me how much the blog has touched them and how amazing they think I am, ha! Of course I'm a little embarasssed and I said something like,and you know it's not just me it's also people like you, my friends and my family that are all part of this. Now I've never been much of a writer, and I think the last official story I ever wrote was in 3rd or 4th grade, a piece called "Fred the Red Penguin". I think I might have got an A, but afterward the teacher and probably my parents were a little concerned with the content and they sent me to be psycho analyzed, anyway that was the end of my writing career. I woke up that night with a thought in my head,
"It's not me It's you"
The rest just sort of happened and I'm not sure I know where it came form, well actually I do.

I wanted to write it so not only would it mean something to a group but also to any individual that I might share it with. I wanted to convey the thought that this is a group effort and that the strength of others and of our faith is what gets us through.

In Job chapter 6 v14 it says,
Those who withold kindness from a friend forsake the fear of the almighty.
My friends, you should all know that you have not forsaken me.

Many of you have read this and I would like to read it now.
Again thank you for being a part of our lives and for coming to this service.

It is not I, it is you
It is you that I receive my motivation from
It is you that I receive my strength from
It is you that inspires me
It is my faith that guides me

It was easier when I knew nothing
for what a fool I once was
And even though I have learned so much
It is much harder now that I have lost so much

But it is you
Not me
Without you I would be lost
and weak
So may God's grace continue to give you the strength
That you so unselfishly
Give to me
God Bless
Where would I be without all of you?



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